“The only reason that we don’t open our hearts and minds
to other people is that they trigger confusion in us that we don’t feel
brave enough or sane enough to deal with. To the degree that we look
clearly and compassionately at ourselves, we feel confident and
fearless about looking into someone else’s eyes.
Then this
experience of opening to the world begins to benefit ourselves and
others simultaneously. The more we relate with others, the more quickly
we discover where we are blocked, where we are unkind, afraid, shut
down. Seeing this is helpful, but it is also painful. Often the only
way we know how to react is to use it as ammunition against ourselves.
We aren’t kind. We aren’t honest. We aren’t brave, and we might as well
give up right now.
That’s the beginning of growing up. As long as we
don’t want to be honest and kind with ourselves, then we are always
going to be infants. When we begin just to try to accept ourselves, the
ancient burden of self-importance lightens up considerably. Finally
there’s room for genuine inquisitiveness, and we find we have an
appetite for what’s out there.”
– Pema Chodron
via whiskey river